Tuesday, June 4, 2013

No Yelling Update :(

So,  once again, I'm beating myself up because I've not bee keeping up with blogging again.  I keep telling myself when my family is raised and there are not so many mouths to feed I may blog more ;)  However, I would really like to get better at this because I want to be able to look back at remember all this precious memories.  So here's a few....

The weather has been just perfect for playing outside ALL day!!!

We received our Bible Bee box and Derek has been so excited about participating this year!  We are studying the book of 1 John.
Lots of gardening going on too :)

  So back to the 30 Day Challenge of No Yelling and how it's been going.... 
  I've had a huge realization lately,  it's not that the 30 Day Challenge was a bad idea, because it definitely was not!  It has opened my eyes completely!  It's just that I have seen that yelling is not actually the problem, I needed to get down to the root.  Just like gardening I can pick the weed every week, but if I don't go out and dig up the root the weed will continue to grow back every week and become a huge pain in my side.  I listened to a sermon on the "Spirit of Anger" and WOW!   I really needed to get on my knees and repent!  I have a huge problem with my spirit.  I have to stop getting so upset before I can really stop the yelling. I'm not going to say I've done 180, because I haven't.  I still have meltdowns, and I can still feel myself about to loose it.  However, I have discovered some trigger points that I didn't realize was allowing myself to get so upset. 

  I don't want my children to remember a mother who had a spirit of anger all the time.  I want them to remember me on how much I taught them and how I loved being with them as I was teaching them different life lessons.  I don't want them to be afraid that I could blow up at any moment or not come to me with something they are dealing with because they are scared I may lose it. 

  I heard a sermon once from an old preacher that kept saying his wife was just so "delightful" to be around.  And he just missed her so much.  I know that when I'm gone, my family will miss me, but will they say I was a "delight" to be around?  I know as a child and a teenager, I probably annoyed more people that I did not annoy, however, I remember always being so joyful at church camp and youth group and just always being in a good mood and hugging people.  And I feel like most days I have totally lost my joy now that I am a mother.  And in reality I should be more joyful now than I have ever been!  God has been sooooo graceful to me and given me soooo many more blessings than I deserve!!!  Where is my joy?  Where is my delight?  So here's my 30 day Challenge for June.....Trying to be more joyful!!  And I don't just mean happy, I mean pure joy.  And if that means smiling when I don't feel like it, then so be it!  I have but such a small time here on earth, I need to start using my time wisely! 

   ~ Psalm 35:9 ~
And my soul shall be joyful in the Lord; It shall rejoice in His salvation.
Have you lost your joy?  Are you delightful to be around?  What is the root of your anger/yelling?  I pray this morning that you will dig deeper into God's word and rest on Him to help you find the answers.

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