Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Being a wife and mother while not feeling good

  I have read several blogs and articles of mothers who live and deal with chronic issues.  And I applaud their parenting skills!  God definitely doesn't give us more than we can handle, and he knows that they are stronger than I am! 

  However, I do live with severe indoor/outdoor allergies.  I normally only have an attack about once a month, worst case scenerio once every two weeks.  And I normally can feel it coming on and can do certain things to prevent them.  Out of 120 things tested, I was highly allergic to everything but 3.  However, I'm not allergic to any foods (thank goodness, because I LOVE to eat!!!)  But if it's a mold, dust mite, tree, pollen, weed, cockroach residue (my Dad and I used to joke about this all the time, then I married Ronnie and now my last name is Roach.... not so funny anymore ;), hay, sawdust, ect, I'm sure to have a reaction.  I tried shots for a few years, and it did help some, but still had pretty bad attacks.  And I could not do shots will pregnant, so I gave those up.  I've tried pretty much every medicine and I mostly have to go back and forth between medicinces because my body becomes immune to a certain one after awhile.  I've been looking into more herbal treatments for about a year now, but have not found anything that even touches me. 
  When I have an attack, I try to immediately go and sleep it off, if I can get to sleep early on my sinuses will dry it up and I can move on with life.  If I wait too long and try to blow my nose or just breath through it, it worsens very quickly.  I can't breathe, I can't see very well because of blurry vision and itchy eyes.  My head feels like it will explode at any moment.  I can barely walk from one room to another without having to sit down and catch my breath.  I can go through a box of tissues in about 10 minutes.  Once I'm in a full blown attack, it takes me about a day and a half to get over it completely and then my body is just weak and tired.

  With all that being said, I'm not looking for sympathy.  I want to give a word of encouragement in two different levels.  The first one, in my marriage.....

  When Ronnie and I first met, it wasn't long before he realized how sickly I was.  I remember throwing up in front of him on Christmas Day and being so embarrassed and him just standing there holding my hair, telling me it was going to be alright.  I remember thinking, this is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with!!!  However, after the honeymoon is over......I'm not sure what happened exactly, if I came to expect him to come at my every beckon call or if he started to think I whined over every little thing.  But very soon, I was holding my own hair again and really feeling sorry for myself.  
  I remember a few years ago when he was really sick and he complained how I never really took care of him when he was sick and I got to thinking.  If he really thinks that, then no wonder he doesn't nurse me anymore.  So I tried really hard to tend to his needs when he had a cold or the flu (which doesn't happen very often, the man is made of steel!!!)  And something happened!!!  I started noticing how he was more aware of my needs when I was sick.  It's amazing how selfish we become when we have something wrong, and how blind we can be of the needs around us.  Even in our own house.  It's taken us several years to figure out how to care for one another, but we are getting much better ;)

Now, as for the children.....I heard a sermon one time on Daniel when he saw one of his visions.

Daniel 8:27 And I, Daniel, fainted and was sick for days; afterward I arose and went about the king’s business. I was astonished by the vision, but no one understood it.
  He said even after all that he had saw, he still got up after been sick for days and went about the king's business.  He didn't continue to lay in bed and moan and whine about what was going to happen.  There was work to be done!  This has always stuck with me.  It is very important to rest and to get better.  But not to lay in bed for days and be depressed about my situation and worry myself to death about when the next attack will hit and what I will miss when it does.  There's work to be done.  I have children to raise! 
  When I watched the Homemaking 101 Video about a year ago, there was a lady on there that was an older Titus 2 woman who talked about being sick and having to still take care of her young children. 
Honestly, I don't remember what I did when Derek and Lindsay were babies.  I'm sure I called my mother-in-law and she gladly watched them for me.  I'm sure that I had someone to come help me.  So I'm sorry, if you have littles and are sick, I'm not sure what the answer is if you don't have help :(  I pray that you find a close friend. 
  However, there is hope for the future!   My oldest and my youngest of inherited my allergies :(  So they know first hand how awful it can be to have an attack.  I have diligently trained my children to "take care of themselves" when Mommy is not well.  Derek and Lindsay both know how to make simple meals for themselves and Leah.  I have also taught Derek how to measure medicine, so this past attack that I had that was so bad, Derek brought my medicine to me with something to drink.  Even though the house is usually pretty messed up when I finally "wake up", the kids do know how to go on while Mommy is down. 
  I know I "preach" chores, orderliness of the house, and training of the children alot, but there is reason and blessing that comes from all the hard work!   
 Proverbs 10:1  A wise son makes a glad father,
But a foolish son is the grief of his mother.

How do you deal with sickness in your house?  Are your children aware of the needs around them?  Are you tending to your husband's needs? 
Have a Blessed Day!
Amanda :)

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

No Yelling Update :(

So,  once again, I'm beating myself up because I've not bee keeping up with blogging again.  I keep telling myself when my family is raised and there are not so many mouths to feed I may blog more ;)  However, I would really like to get better at this because I want to be able to look back at remember all this precious memories.  So here's a few....

The weather has been just perfect for playing outside ALL day!!!

We received our Bible Bee box and Derek has been so excited about participating this year!  We are studying the book of 1 John.
Lots of gardening going on too :)

  So back to the 30 Day Challenge of No Yelling and how it's been going.... 
  I've had a huge realization lately,  it's not that the 30 Day Challenge was a bad idea, because it definitely was not!  It has opened my eyes completely!  It's just that I have seen that yelling is not actually the problem, I needed to get down to the root.  Just like gardening I can pick the weed every week, but if I don't go out and dig up the root the weed will continue to grow back every week and become a huge pain in my side.  I listened to a sermon on the "Spirit of Anger" and WOW!   I really needed to get on my knees and repent!  I have a huge problem with my spirit.  I have to stop getting so upset before I can really stop the yelling. I'm not going to say I've done 180, because I haven't.  I still have meltdowns, and I can still feel myself about to loose it.  However, I have discovered some trigger points that I didn't realize was allowing myself to get so upset. 

  I don't want my children to remember a mother who had a spirit of anger all the time.  I want them to remember me on how much I taught them and how I loved being with them as I was teaching them different life lessons.  I don't want them to be afraid that I could blow up at any moment or not come to me with something they are dealing with because they are scared I may lose it. 

  I heard a sermon once from an old preacher that kept saying his wife was just so "delightful" to be around.  And he just missed her so much.  I know that when I'm gone, my family will miss me, but will they say I was a "delight" to be around?  I know as a child and a teenager, I probably annoyed more people that I did not annoy, however, I remember always being so joyful at church camp and youth group and just always being in a good mood and hugging people.  And I feel like most days I have totally lost my joy now that I am a mother.  And in reality I should be more joyful now than I have ever been!  God has been sooooo graceful to me and given me soooo many more blessings than I deserve!!!  Where is my joy?  Where is my delight?  So here's my 30 day Challenge for June.....Trying to be more joyful!!  And I don't just mean happy, I mean pure joy.  And if that means smiling when I don't feel like it, then so be it!  I have but such a small time here on earth, I need to start using my time wisely! 

   ~ Psalm 35:9 ~
And my soul shall be joyful in the Lord; It shall rejoice in His salvation.
Have you lost your joy?  Are you delightful to be around?  What is the root of your anger/yelling?  I pray this morning that you will dig deeper into God's word and rest on Him to help you find the answers.