Thursday, November 24, 2011

So much to be thankful for this year!!!!

  I always take this time of year to sit back and reflect and thank our amazing Heavenly Father for our blessings.  After the month we just had, I have soooo much to be thankful for!!!
  After my surgery, two hospital visits with immediate family members, and for those of you who do not know, I just had my second miscarriage this week, I have quite a bit to be depressed about.  However, somehow, even when we lost Hannah, I seem to cling to all of the good in my life.  This morning, I woke up completely exhausted, my body still cramping from the miscarriage and very sad that I have lost the excitement of another new blessing in our house.  However, when I rolled over to see our two daughters in bed with me, I immediately praised God for giving me beautiful reasons to move on.  I sucked it up, got dressed, put a smile on my face and decided to make some cinnamon rolls (that always makes everything all better, right?). 
  As the children awoke, they all came and found me and hugged me and gave me "sugars".  Ronnie had left to track a deer he had shot the night before, but I love having the peace of knowing that he always has the best intentions for our family and tries so hard to take care of us. 
  Things have been tight financially for a long time, but as I look back, God has kept his promises:  We've never went hungry, we've always had food and we've always had a warm house to live in.  Most days these things seem like simple things, but when you're strapped for money, they become major, important things. 
  I know, there are still many trials ahead, but I thank God for his promises and his love.  I am sooo not worthy and undeserving!!!

Friday, November 4, 2011

"I want to be just like Derek"

  I often times struggle with the fact that so many of my family members live in disbelief.  Some in disbelief that there is even a God at all.  I look around and see his marvelous wonders all day long!!!  I also have a peace, knowing that the God of the universe is holding my baby while she sleeps peacefully.  If I didn't have have that, I'm sure I would never have made it after her funeral. 
  My husband's favorite bible verse is Romans 1:20 ~ From the time the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky and all that God made.  They can clearly see his invisible qualities - his eternal power and divine nature.  So they have no excuse whatsoever for not knowing God.  But yet, there are still those who can't see him or don't want to.  The chapter goes on to talk about how they've made God into other idols and their hearts are so dark.  I used to just rub this off and think nothing of these people.  If they didn't want to believe, then that was their own problem.  I often times struggle with getting angry at people denying God and his amazing love for us.  But now, through the help of my son, I'm taking on a new prespective. 
  I used to think, as long as I was saved that's all I needed to worry about, but this is not true nor biblical.  Jesus came for the lost not the saved.  And I need to have the same outlook on life.  I need to have a care and concern for these people.  Derek, amazes me at how much he worries at his age for our family and friends.  He, gets really upset at the fact that they do not attend church or believe.  He used to make himself feel better by telling me they at least have a bible in their house, but now as he has grown as a christian he realizes that bibles alone will not save them from Hell.  I just pray, that my baby boy will hold tight to his concerns for the lost and dying souls of this world.  I know he is capable of amazing things if he stays in the word and keeps his love for his heavenly Father! 
  It's amazing to me how the world looks through a 6-year-old's eyes.  And the bible tells us to be like children and we will enter the kingdom.  So, I am going to work much harder at trying to have the heart of a child, just like my son.  And to be as concerned with others as I am myself if not more for others!