Food for Thought

"22Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.  23For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.  24Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.  25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;  26That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,  27That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.  29For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:  30For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.  31For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.  32This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.  33Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband."

So, for many of you who know me, I'm a very independent, most of the time outspoken woman.  I'm a very take-charge kind of person.  I like to lead and be center of attention.  I'm not a very good follower at all.  Which in most cases, this is all good.  It was very easy for me to say no to peer pressure in high school, however, I'll be the first to say I did make some mistakes.  Being a leader, definately is good when it comes to homeschooling.  I sing alot in front of crowds, so being able to entertain comes natural to me.  And there are not many "strong leaders" in the church, so I have come in handy a time or two there. 
  However, with all this being said, after reading this passage, there's lots to be said about being a follower!  I've read this passage many times before, but here lately, I think God has really been speaking to me on this.  Recently, I started reading a book called "Homeschooling and still married!" by Todd Wilson.  You can not successfully homeschool, unless you are successful in your marriage.  It reads on to tell of all the things a man really wants from his wife and how she can do her part in marriage.  Such as, telling her husband he has big muscles!  (Sorry, Ronnie, I had to put it in here ;)  Now, all you feminists out there, he has also written a book to husbands saying the same thing about their wives.  Ronnie and I will be reading it next. 
  There's a section in the book that talks about all a husband really wants is to provide for his family and for his wife to believe and trust in him.  See, this is where I struggle.  Ronnie and I have many financial issues because of mistakes we've made.  I know with all my heart Ronnie will and wants to take care of us, however, just trusting that he will without my nagging is my downfall.  He wants to make decisions most of the time and I have not let him in the past. 

  I've been praying a lot lately, for strength to let go and trust.  To trust Ronnie, and, even when he makes mistakes, also to trust the Lord our God that he will provide for us.  I have to constantly remind myself, has he not already?