Monday, October 8, 2012

I love you.......Be Careful!

  Five little words, I say every morning.  I have said them every morning for over 9 years.  But this morning when I said them, they had a whole new meaning, and Ronnie new exactly what I meant when I said this morning. 

  "I love you.....Be Careful!"

  For those of you who don't know, my husband was in the military for 9 years (4 years of which was before we were married.)  So this is just something military wives say, especially before a deployment.  But he has been out for almost 4 years now.  And this morning, I said these words with the most sincere heart ever!  And I didn't even realize until it was out of my mouth, but we totally knew.....

  Ronnie had to go back to work today, for this past week our world has been turned upside down.  My husband lost his best friend, and my best friend lost her husband. 
   He was a lineman at our local REMC and while doing a routine poll load up, the pole jumped off its cradle and killed our dear friend instantly.  And nothing in our lives have been the same since. 
  He was an amazing man, and he didn't even know it.  He was an elder at our church, but he preferred to be called an "overseer", because he was so young. ;)  But he was sooo wise for his age!!!  Our preacher kept describing him this week as gentle, and that is about the best term I can come up with also.  About 6 months ago, Ronnie asked him to be his mentor, and he gladly accepted, and has been that and more to Ronnie ever since!  Personally, our lives have not been the same since he and his wife has entered them.  We have hung out and went out to eat numerous times and Ronnie is like a teenager all over again around them.  He would just laugh and laugh, and I would apologize because I said he never acted like that, and my dear friend would just smile and say, "Don't worry about it!  We love you guys!"  He and his wife were leaders of our small group at church, and I have watched my husband become this amazing man because of them. 
  And it's not just us that was affected, he was this way with everyone he met!!!  We had just become so close in the past year, that this hurts so deep!  There are a million other stories of how he touched others lives! 
  I keep looking at the couch, where he used to sit when they came over.  And I keep looking at the wood stove, that he just helped move in this past weekend and the little pile of ash in the yard, that he dumped out of it before he brought it in. 
  Ronnie has been so lost, he wants to call him, but.....    And my heart just breaks for my friend, his wife.  I can't take my mind off of her.  She has been so strong and an amazing woman of faith!!!  She just keeps saying "You just never know!  We always need to be ready!"  Yesterday, she whispered in my ear, "Love on that man of yours!  And go do things as a family!"  And she's right, she's totally right, because this life is just a vapor.  And I've never seen it more clearly, even when we lost Hannah.  But on the inside I'm aching for her.  She says, "Love on that man!", and I say, "But, that's not fair, because you can't now :("  She and I have shared everything over that past year.  (Along with my other dear best friend Melisa).  She is sooo much like me!  (We don't always agree, but we still love each other!)  And I just keep thinking, I don't want to hurt her by her seeing me with Ronnie.  I know it's silly, but your mind does silly things in a time like this! 
  We have had a some other couples over from our church and small groups this week, that were close to all of us.  Ronnie and I would just walk around our house looking at each other, like "where do we go from here?"  And he didn't even live with us!  It's killing me thinking about her having to do the same thing!!!  All of our other friends said the same thing at their houses, so it was nice to pull in together like that and cherish each other for a few more moments, because you just never know when it might be one of them!!!
  Anyway, back to this morning, now that our lives have turned upside down, we've been doing some soul searching.  And we want to make sure everyone is ready for that day!!!   Our friend was sooo ready, he was an amazing Christian, inside and out!  He was a great leader, great husband, great father, everything!!!  We want to make sure we are doing what we are supposed to!  Also, realizing that either of us could go at any time now, we are trying to get all of our affairs in order.  Looking into life insurance, naming guardians for the kids, making sure we're raising the children right, etc.  Because, no matter how careful we are, it's God's timing, not ours.  He can take us home whenever He decides too!  So we want to be ready! 

Everything Has Its Time

Ecclesiastes 3 To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:
2 A time to be born,
And a time to die;
A time to plant,
And a time to pluck what is planted;
3 A time to kill,
And a time to heal;
A time to break down,
And a time to build up;
4 A time to weep,
And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn,
And a time to dance;
5 A time to cast away stones,
And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace,
And a time to refrain from embracing;
6 A time to gain,
And a time to lose;
A time to keep,
And a time to throw away;
7 A time to tear,
And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence,
And a time to speak;
8 A time to love,
And a time to hate;
A time of war,
And a time of peace.
Because of their privacy, I've not said their names in this post, but in your prayers please pray for my dear friend and her children.   Also, the surrounding family.  Specific prayer requests:  strength, wisdom, understanding, and healing!


  1. That's a wonderful post! I know my dad and the other guys at REMC are also wondering how to go on... it breaks my heart for everyone involved. I didn't know him only through dad but it seemed like he was my long lost brother as dad talked so highly of him every single day.
    You are great at putting things into words that to most people are so difficult to express but I know it comes from God and your heart... we are not guaranteed one second until God will take us home. It's such a wonderful thing to go to our real home, it's only difficult for those of us left behind.

  2. I am so sorry for your loss. Great reminder to live each day to it's fullest~never leave unspoken words or deeds till tomorrow~you may never get the chance. Holding your family in prayer.

  3. Just wanted to pop in and say that I've enjoyed your blog, so I've nominated your site for a fun blog award called the Liebster Blog Award. You can see about it at my blog....
    Congrats and have a great day!