A Well Deserved Renew

  Ronnie and I just got home from taking some of the teens in our youth group at church to Johnson Bible College in Knoxville, Tennessee.  It was absolutely amazing!!!  My wonderful mother and step-father came down to stay the weekend with the kids while Ronnie and I had a nice getaway for awhile.  I actually did very well and did not worry about my children that much at all.  (Ronnie and I have went away and the past and I have just been sick the whole time we were gone.)  The college campus was absolutely gorgeous!!!  I wish I would have taken a college day there myself when I was younger.  Thursday night when we left we stayed in a hotel room and then arrived at the campus on Friday morning.  We attened some welcome classes and then an actual class by a professor.  We had a tour of the campus and then was pretty much on our own.  Friday evening we (Ronnie, the other adults in our group, and I) went with the kids to the walleyball courts.  I had a blast.  I played volleyball in highschool, so it seems to by favorite sport, but this was volleyball and raquetball put together.  It was awesome.  My cousin Tyler, who attends Johnson, caught up with us for this.  Saturday we packed all the kids up in the vans and took off for the mountains.  We hiked up to Clingman's Dome in the Smoky Mountain National Park.  And I was able to take some beautiful pictures.  We had a deovtion here and we talked about God's plan for our lives and just how beautiful the scenery was here!  That afternoon we spent shopping and going out to eat!  Which are both my my favorite pasttimes!  On Sunday we woke up and went to a more contempary church service.  It was really neat.  I can't really explain it all, but Ronnie and I just really enjoyed it!  The preacher talked about coming out of a cave and really opening your eye to what all God has instore for you.  We went to CiCi's pizza for dinner and then went on to go ziplining.  Which was really fun for the kids, however not for myself.  I just about had a nervous breakdown.  I did make it through the first two zips, but just could not make my self continue.  I really hate becoming an adult.  I really would have loved it as a teenager, but now that I'm a mother I just can't handle somethings.  Ronnie and I had the chance to have some really good in depth talks with the other adults on the trip.  And we both came home, not exactly new people, but completely refreshed and renewed christians! 

The kids we took

Ronnie and I

God's beautiful creation!

A Calm Rain

  I just had the most serene experience......... 
 Ronnie and I had recently made the decision to walk completely in faith and to let God decide how many children we will have.  Now by that being said, I hope anyone reading this, especially my family, you will listen fully before trying to debate me.  There have been a few reasons why we've made this decision.  One of them being a sermon we both heard/read.  This is the link to the sermon, Our view on family planning.
  Another seeing how God has taken care of us no matter what.  Alot of people have told us, I will die if I try to have anymore children.  But truth is, God is in control and if I'm going to "die" it's going to be because he called me home, not because I took my own life.  Ronnie and I have been through a lot!!!  And God has safely guided us through each step.  This morning I stumbled across this beautiful woman, named September, and her blog.  September's Story  As I was reading her words of encouragement and grief, it started to rain just lightly on our roof.  Mind you, we've not seen rain here for days, maybe even months.  We've had a burn ban on, it's so dry.  It was as if God was quietly telling me, I will always take care of you no matter what! 
  I'll be the first to tell you, there was several nights I lay in bed pregnant with Leah, but I would repeat Psalm 56:3 When I am afraid, I will trust in You to myself over and over and would finally peacefully fall asleep.  God never said pregnacy would be easy, in fact, he told us it would be just the opposite. 
  It really is amazing how much smoother our lives go when we completely rely and trust in our loving father.  This is not to say that Ronnie and I are by any means perfect christians, none of us are!  However, I've made great strides in my walk, since I've completely handed things over and I can not even begin to tell you how the Lord has changed my husband since we met.  He still struggles, as do I, to be christ-like, but he tries and that is all that matters.  This is also why I fall in love with him all over again when he overcomes something he has been struggling with for awhile.  And even though I, his wife, know him better than anyone, he still neve ceases to amaze me!! 
  I know, just as God has brought Ronnie safely home from Iraq, delivered me and my first born from HELLP syndrome safely, and brought our beautiful daughter, Hannah into this world, even after the doctors said she would not be born alive, he can heal and protect us from anything! 
  Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Whew!!!

WOW!!!!  It has been a whirlwind around here since we moved!!!  We've had something each weekend and pretty much every day!  This past weekend we finally took our camper out for the "first time" to Spring Mill Park in Mitchell, IN.  We camped with our friend Darren and Melisa and their kids in primitive camping.  Funny how the weather changes in Indiana!  It got down to 38 one night, which happened to be the night our battery went dead and ended up with no heat!  But all ended well and we had a good time.  The park had trick or treating one night and all he kids dressed up and got lots and lots of candy!  Since we came home, we had a field trip with our homeschool co-op group back at Spring Mill in the Village.  It was so nice to get together and learn about the pioneer ways and then just sit and play together for lunch at the playground.  My relatives really worry about whether or not the kids are socializing enough, when in all honesty, I think I need it more than they do!!  It was so nice to have some adult interaction with mothers that undestand what I go through on a day to day basis. 
  Then this morning we woke up and did our chores and got ready to go to story hour.  We hung out at the library for awhile and then took the trash off to the dump.  After having lunch and nap time for the girls, Derek and I worked on finishing up school work.  We then started getting ready for Derek's soccer game.  Which, by the way he claims they won again.  After soccer we headed to Wendy's for supper and to Wal-Mart for supper for the rest of the week.  I was completely dragging when we walked through the door.  And now I have all three in bed and waiting for my husband to call me and wish me a good night.  There were several times today when it got extremely hectic, but all in all it's always worth every minute!!!! 

Food for Thought

"22Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.  23For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.  24Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.  25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;  26That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,  27That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.  29For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:  30For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.  31For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.  32This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.  33Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband."

So, for many of you who know me, I'm a very independent, most of the time outspoken woman.  I'm a very take-charge kind of person.  I like to lead and be center of attention.  I'm not a very good follower at all.  Which in most cases, this is all good.  It was very easy for me to say no to peer pressure in high school, however, I'll be the first to say I did make some mistakes.  Being a leader, definately is good when it comes to homeschooling.  I sing alot in front of crowds, so being able to entertain comes natural to me.  And there are not many "strong leaders" in the church, so I have come in handy a time or two there. 
  However, with all this being said, after reading this passage, there's lots to be said about being a follower!  I've read this passage many times before, but here lately, I think God has really been speaking to me on this.  Recently, I started reading a book called "Homeschooling and still married!" by Todd Wilson.  You can not successfully homeschool, unless you are successful in your marriage.  It reads on to tell of all the things a man really wants from his wife and how she can do her part in marriage.  Such as, telling her husband he has big muscles!  (Sorry, Ronnie, I had to put it in here ;)  Now, all you feminists out there, he has also written a book to husbands saying the same thing about their wives.  Ronnie and I will be reading it next. 
  There's a section in the book that talks about all a husband really wants is to provide for his family and for his wife to believe and trust in him.  See, this is where I struggle.  Ronnie and I have many financial issues because of mistakes we've made.  I know with all my heart Ronnie will and wants to take care of us, however, just trusting that he will without my nagging is my downfall.  He wants to make decisions most of the time and I have not let him in the past. 

  I've been praying a lot lately, for strength to let go and trust.  To trust Ronnie, and, even when he makes mistakes, also to trust the Lord our God that he will provide for us.  I have to constantly remind myself, has he not already? 

8 years!!!

I woke up this morning to check my facebook and found a beautiful post from my wonderful husband!!!  You see, 8 years ago, on September 16, we met.  And I was reminded once again of our amazing love story.  I was a senior in high school and I sang the National Anthem at all the home girl's games.  It was volleyball game, which is my favorite sport, and we were playing a county rival, Springs Valley High School.  When I came in the door I saw a group of guys, some of which I was already friends with, from Valley sitting over in front of the concession stand.  As I walked by to check in at the score's bench one of the guys, Derek, who I had been in 4-H with for years, stopped me.  He told me his friend, Ronnie over here thinks your cute.  I said "hi" and just blew him off.  Derek was not really the type of guy I would ever date, so I really couldn't see myself dating one of his friends.  Not to mention, I had just gotten my heart severely broken by another boy who had just broke up with me a couple of weeks earlier. 
  I proceeded to sing the National Anthem, (looking back, Ronnie has told me he fell in love with me when I walked in the door, and then fell in love all over again when I sang.  Now, what girl wouldn't just give anything to hear that!!!), and then I tracked down my friend CJ to help with my physics homework during the game.  CJ just happened to be sitting with our friends from Valley, so I had to sit a bleacher down from Ronnie the whole game.  CJ and I cheered on my best friend Lindsey and worked on physics. 
  The next couple of days, my friend Tina, who had a locker beside mine constantly nagged me about going out with this Ronnie guy, and so I finally gave in and let some mutual friends of our set us up. 
  Our first official date was riding 4-wheelers after the Paoli Parade and we grabbed a bite to eat at Hardee's.  Ronnie bought me a cheeseburger and a coke and honestly I fell in love.  I know, that's horrible and he's teased me several times for being a "cheap date", but I couldn't help it!  All I had ever wanted was a man to take care of me, and for the first time I felt like I had found that. 

  After a few short months of dating, Ronnie proposed and then was shipped off to Iraq.  He came home on two weeks leave and we got married.  And 8 years and 4 children later, here we are!!! 

Moving/Settling In

Well, once again, God has blessed us beyond our imagination!  Friends of ours had been renting this house and we had attended a party for church and come inside to take a tour.  We absolutely fell in love with it at once!  So we told them when they were ready to move on to call us.  Within a couple of months they told us they found a new house and would be moving out, so I facebooked (because that's what you do in these new age times) the landlord and ask if we could be on the waiting list for.  Within a couple of weeks I was told we could move in.  So I put our trailer up for sale on Monday, sold it on Thursday and we moved into the new house on Saturday.  Only God, could prepare such a move!  However, Satan was hard at work too!!  All day Saturday, I had the worst, I mean the absolute worst allergy attack!!!  I was absolutely worthless.  Thank goodness for our dear friends that helped us.  Between them and my wonderful husband we got everything moved in one day.  However, it wasn't all roses.  Ronnie and I fought to start off the day and I cried, but being the loving husband that he is, he quickly told me he was sorry and told me to just go to the new house and do as much unpacking as I could. 
  So now, I've spent the last two weeks unpacking and putting away, buying new appliances, painting, decorating, and trying to keep up with laundry, meal planning, and homeschooling all at once.  Oh, did I mention we still have storyhour, youth group, gymnastics, and soccer going on?

  See how hard it is to keep up!  Lindsay's bed has not made it into the new house yet.  We're painting it to match the rest of the furniture in the girls' room.  Doesn't seem to bother her, though, does it?

Reminders

A friend of ours lost their little girl this week.  She drown in the neighbors swimming pool.  I went to the viewing tonight, and was once again reminded that children are not really "ours".  We are called God's children for a reason.  We as mothers, are just here to raise and love them until its time for them to go home.  Unfortunately, for our earthly bodies that's really hard to comprehend.  Its so easy to be saddened by the fact that "our" child has been taken away, when in reality we should be rejoicing that they no longer have to suffer and they beat us to eternity.  I can honestly say the comforting feeling I've had as a mother was the moment I was holding my dying child as she took her last breath, as horrible as that sounds, there was this awesome peace and serenity come over me that she was really "ok" now.  Actually she's so much more than ok!
  It so easy, to replay everything in your head over and over again, what could I have done different, if only I had done this, I should have spent more time with her........... But in the end, I really did do my job, I got her to heaven, and that's all that matters.