Random Thoughts about this Miscarriage...

I've had writer's block for a few weeks now, and I figure it's time to get back on the horse!!!  I've been struggling mentally and spiritually with our miscarriage for a couple of weeks now.  I was scared to death when I got the last positive test, reasons being:  1)  It was so soon after my intestinal surgery.  2) It was going to be my 5th c-section.  3) I have a history for strange problems during and after pregnancy (such as HELLP syndrome, Bell's Palsy, infected uterus after surgery....).  The first couple of nights after realizing I was pregnant I laid in bed and prayed myself to sleep for comfort.  I finally got myself under control and realized Satan was using all of that to get to me!  My last two pregnacies and deliveries, except for the fact that Hannah had the Turner's, went very smoothly! 
  Then I felt this horrible guilt when I miscarried.  Thinking, there I went again, not trusting God!  I mean really, am I going to have faith or am I not?  And I know, that people would argue with me all day long, that it doesn't involve faith that it also involves common sense and he gives us the medical world today, so we should use it!  I strongly disagree!!!  I was perfectly healthy doing nothing wrong, so I thought, and look where I ended up in September and October, in the hospital for a week due to not being able to stop throwing up!  So to me, if something can happen to me while I'm "perfectly healthy" and God can take care of me, why can God not take care of me while I pregnant? 
  So this is where my struggle comes in to play.......It's been about 3 months since my miscarriage and it feels like an eternity lately.   There are exactly 2 years and 6 months between my living children, so in my OCD mind I felt like it was time to add another baby and this last pregnancy seemed to fit in the box for me.  Now, trying to make sense of the miscarriage and dealing with the loss, I find myself running into pregnant women everywhere.  While I am thankful that my body does have a little more time to heal from my last surgery, my heart still longs for another baby. 
  Derek cries alot for a brother and was so excited when we told him we were expecting again and so very upset when we lost the baby.  So my heart yearns for another little brother for him! 
  Please, don't get me wrong, I am very, very, very thankful and feel very blessed for my beautiful children here on earth with me.  But I feel very strongly that my calling here is to be a mother and a housewife, which in turn gives me the strong desire to have a full house! 
  In my prayer life, I've been trying to keep it very simple and let God lead my desires.  I have just prayed in his time.....and if that means never having another baby then giving me that contentment.  I am leaving it in his hands.  No pressure to us on "trying".  If it is his will then it will happen.  Because in the end, I know that in heaven, I will have 6 blessings to cuddle and love on!!!

"Survival" of the Littles ~ Part 4 ~ Picking My Battles

  My mother tells me all the time, "Pick your battles, if it won't matter tomorrow, it probably doesn't really matter right now."  And you know, she's right!!!  (I know, I know, I just agreed my mother was right, I guess that means I have officially outgrown my teenage rebel era.)  But, really, she is right.  Just to give you some examples, and then I'm sure you can find all kinds of way to put this idea into practice.

  Occasion #1 ~  I decided to clean out the fridge while the baby was awake.  So I knew going into it that I would have to stay calm.  (Sorry, Fly Lady, when I start something I have to finish it, I can't just work for 15 minutes at a time on a project, like you.  I'm trying, really I am)  At first all was well, I started her out playing in the floor beside me and she kept herself quite busy for sometime.  But as I started to bleach the shelfs, she started to notice all the bottles of different sauces and such on the floor and counter.  So she picked up the ranch dressing and started to put it back in the fridge.  I told her no, that Mommy needed to finish first and then she could help me put all the food back away.  So she obeyed and laid the ranch dressing back down, however the paper label caught her attention and she saw that it was like a sticker.  She started to peel it off little by little.  Now, if you know anything about me,  you know that I like everything just so, so.  The milk always sits on the same self on the right.  All of my rugs must not be messed up and must be even.  Anyway, you get the picture.  So it took every ounce of will power I had not to tell her no, because in all honesty, what was it going to hurt?  I would know tomorrow and the next day and the next day after that, that the bottle with white stuff in it was ranch dressing.  And it would keep her busy long enough to let me finish my chore at hand.  And she is old enough to pick up her own mess, so when she was finished I made sure she threw away all of her trash, so for a lesson, she realized she couldn't make a mess like that and not clean it up. 

   Occasion #2 ~ I told you a little bit in the last post about how she loves to be in the kitchen.  And how, this can if I let it, get under my skin very quickly.  She loves to rinse the dishes, while I wash.  I would love to just hurry and wash them and move on to the next thing, but I must continually tell myself, it's a great learning tool for both her and I.  Yes, sometimes, after she's rinsed a few things, she grabs a cup that is already clean and wants to play in the water with it and I cringe thinking that cup is already clean, but I have to stop myself and say, really what is she hurting?  Nothing!  She's playing with clean water and she loves standing by my side "helping" me.  It definitely teaches me patience and that everything doesn't have to go in a certain order like it does in my head.

  Occasion #3 ~ Giving up the high chair was definitely a battle for me!  I wanted the baby to stay in the high chair for a little while longer, because it's much easier to clean up the tray than the whole floor around her chair.  But she is very independent, as you can already tell, and wanted to be just like Bubby and Sissy!  So I gritted my teeth and started letting her sit at the table in a "big" chair. 

  Now, like I've said before, I'm not saying give into bad behavior.  Do not allow hitting, biting, throwing tantrums, dilerberate disobeying, backtalking, etc. to go unpunished.  However, take a good look at yourself and if you are getting annoyed by little things, that really won't matter tomorrow.  Trust me, if you are, I completely understand how you feel!!!  But that still doesn't make it right.  And we are to continually be trying to become more and more like Christ.  So, today, remember to ask yourself, Will this really matter tomorrow? 

  I hope this encourages you today!!!  And have a blessed day!!!

"Surviving" the Littles ~ Part 3 ~ Chores

   Incorporating chores in your children's lives is key to "surviving"!!  There are several things a young child can help out doing around the house.  Even children that crawl can sit beside you and put toys in a basket.  Teach children very young and they will absorb it quickly! 

 

  In our house, we have morning chores first thing in the morning, then school, then free time.  Work before Play, if you can teach this to your children, I firmly believe they will go far in life!!!  The above picture is Leah, age 22 months, doing one of her chores, putting Daddy's pop in the bottom drawer of the fridge.

   So here's a look at our day, hope this is some encouragement to you out there will "littles"!!!

  Morning is not my friend, and if I've been up a lot at night, then we tend to sleep in.....shhhh...don't tell anyone ;)  Derek, doesn't seem to understand the concept of sleeping in, so he understands he may wake up normal and have some quiet free time before Mommy and the girls get up.  However, if I'm already up or when I do wake up everyone begins on their morning chores, myself included! 

    1.)  Get Dressed (Mommy helps Leah with this.  I also change baby Leigha and my Leah's diapers at this time.)

    2.)  Make bed

    3.)  Put jammies under pillow, put sippy cup in the sink, and turn off night light

    4.)  Pick up room, anything that wasn't done the night before

    5.)  Breakfast/Brush Teeth

    6.)  Leah and I do dishes or start a load of laundry, Lindsay cleans the bathroom, and Derek does outside chores (feed dog, cats, and take out trash).

  Then we begin our school day.  After quiet time we also work on afternoon chores.  Wednesday is laundry day for the kids.  They each have their own laundry basket in their closets for dirty clothes and when it's their turn they take them to the laundry room and do their own load.  Both of the older two know how to run both the washer and the dryer.  Lindsay, right now, is responsible for both her and Leah's clothes.  Mommy, then folds and puts clothes away when they are dry.  They are both also responsible for stripping their sheets once a week and washing those.  Then Mommy puts new sheets on their beds.  I have other chores written on the fridge for other days of the week, such as cleaning light switch plates, baseboards, wiping down the kitchen trash can, fridge, stove, etc. 

   There are days, that my "help" can become a little overwhelming, but I have to keep in mind their "help" will not be perfect.  Leah, right now, LOVES, to be in the kitchen with me at all times.  And some days, I just want to hurry up and finish what I was doing, when here she comes pushing her chair over to help me.  So I have to take a deep breath and find her something to help with.  It is almost impossible for me to do dishes without her by my side now.  I wash and she rinses ;)  And when I cook, she is right next to me handing me things.  She's very resourceful, I can tell her almost anything in the pantry or fridge to bring me and she will, as long as it's not on the top shelf.  And I know in the long run, these are the moments I will cherish, when she's grown and gone.

   There are lots of resources out there, that I have used for ideas in teaching the children.  One of my favorites is Managers of their Chores .  Check out the whole Titus 2 website.  They have so many good books and training advice!  Another favorite of mine is Homemaking 101 from Family Vision Films.  Click Here to watch the trailer for the DVD. 

  I hope this is does encourage you with "littles".  And just remember, that all of your hard work does matter.  Even if you have to do it again tomorrow, you're working for the King!

  Have a Blessed Day!!!

2012: New Year's Resolutions

1.)  Read my Bible everyday!!!

(Ronnie and I have started reading together again, hopefully we can keep this up!)

2.)  Try to continually bless my husband:

Fix his breakfast

Pack his lunch

Make sure his clothes are clean

Try to keep the house picked up the best I can

3.)  Read to the children everyday; more than once is better.

4.)  Work on scripture memorization with the children more.

5.)  Less computer, TV, screen time.

6.)  Cook more at home:

Work on menu plans

Less eating out

Cook from scratch more

7.)  Rest on Sunday ~ No working!



"Survival" with the Littles Part dos ~ Bedtime

Lindsay "sleeping" in her new "bed" our first week in our new house - 2010

  I am a bit more lenient on bedtime than I am on anything.  I know, shocker, right?  Sorry, Smockity, my kids are only allowed to go "down" the slide. 

 It has been a long road, but I finally realized, my body and my husband's NEEDS sleep and we'll kinda just take it where we can get it.  It's almost like a drug ;) 

  When Derek was born, I co-slept with him while I breastfed him.  As he got older and I quit breastfeeding (bad mom!), we put him in his crib.  I'm not sure how it all happened, but I remember having a pillow in his room and laying on the floor next to his bed waiting for him to go to sleep, so Ronnie and I could sleep together alone.  Then my wise aunt, gave us some advice, he was only doing this because we let him.  So we did the "let the child cry themselves to sleep" thing.  It was hard, very hard.  Especially when he would make himself throw up.  It did in the end work, but it was almost too much trouble.

  Lindsay, was a very, very easy baby.  Thank Goodness!!  Because I was pregnant with Hannah by the time she was 4 months old and was very sick!!!  I would breastfeed her and rock her and put her to bed.  She didn't sleep with us until much later.  Derek and Lindsay both spent a lot of time at other people's houses while Hannah was in the hospital, so they learned multiple sleeping arrangements wherever they were.

  By the time, Leah came along, I was babysitting 6 other children, 2 of who came at 5 am! (Did I mention, I'm not a morning person?  I'll touch on mourning routines around here, next post.)  I took 2 weeks off for maternity leave for Leah (Who does that?!?!  I'm nuts, I know!) and then started baby-sitting again.  It didn't take me long to figure out, I couldn't handle all the extra kids (one of which was the same age as Leah) and my newborn and be the mother, I needed to be.  I hated giving it all up, but it was something I had to do for our family.  This is why I call it survival.  You go through seasons and you know you just can't do some things anymore. 

  Anyhow, Leah, slept a lot, so this was very nice for me during this tiring time.  Isn't it wonderful, how God knows exactly what we need and what we can and can not handle?!?!?  Since, I breastfed Leah, the longest, I did co-sleep with her quite a bit more.  However, she did not give us any trouble transitioning into her own bed.  (Her toddler bed, has been a different story!) 

  We no longer practice (for now) letting the child cry themselves to sleep.  For the most part, bedtime is very smooth around our house.  The children put the pjs on, brush their teeth, and if everyone is in a good mood, we sit down on the couch to read a story before bed.  Daddy fills up sippy cups (yes, I let my children take milk to bed, I know, I'm a terrible mother!) and then Daddy tucks in the girls and I tuck in Derek.  There are some nights when Ronnie has to work late and I tuck them all 3 into bed or when I have a meeting and Ronnie tucks all 3 in, but for the most part, that is how we do it.  They all 3 drift off to sleep very easily. 

  During the night, however, is another story.  I'm normally up at least once, sometimes twice, a night, filling up a sippy cup or taking someone to the bathroom, but they always go right back to sleep, we are never up for more than 5 minutes.  We do allow our children to get in bed with us, if they have a nightmare or can't seem to get back to sleep on their own.  So, there are many mornings that we wake up and have 1 or more children in bed with us.  And I am thankful for a husband that allows this.  Some of my fondest memories are being able to get in bed with my parents or grandparents after having a bad dream. (And I had a lot of them, really, I did!) 

  There also has been many of nights, that I have taken a baby to the couch to sleep, so that Ronnie does get a good night's rest.  It's better for me to be tired at home, than for him to be tired, driving a semi all day.  And we have quiet time here, so if need be, I can lay down, he doesn't have that luxury. 

  Remember, the main thing is to cherish the small moments while you can, and if that means loosing a little sleep because someone needs Daddy or Mommy to cuddle with, it will be worth it in the long run.  Behavior issues are another story, and I don't encourage anyone to give into bad behavior, but for us, a couple of hours of co-sleeping works.  For me, I have to remember to put my husbands needs first.  So for us, getting all the children to start off in the beds is priority.  That gives us some one on one time to discuss and day and go over what's going to happen for tomorrow. 

  Children are a blessing!!!  The "littles" stage does not have to be a burden, even with multiple "littles".  Because they won't stay little!  Attitude

Getting ready for bed last night.

 

No Santa........Really?

***These are our convictions only, this does NOT mean, I think you are sinning if you're not like us!!!***

  Ok, you have to admit, you knew it was coming....That we would sooner or later be convicted about Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy.  Especially, since we started wearing skirts more often, I mean, really don't the two go hand in hand?  ;)  (Enter Sarcasm Here) 

  I know that I don't have to explain our convictions to you, but since I have been searching my heart and soul out trying to find the right answers on things, I thought I'd just share with you our feelings and convictions on the whole situation. 

1.)  No, we have not changed religions.  We are just digging much deeper than we ever have before.  We still believe in the Gospel and we believe there are many biblical principals from the Old Testament that Jesus did not come to change as many believe today.  

2.)  The Bible tells us again and again not to lie.  It's even one of the Ten Commandments.  Ephesians 4:25 ~ So you must stop telling lies.  Tell each other the truth...

  ***Santa does NOT exist, he does NOT live at the North Pole, he does NOT have flying reindeer, and I could go on and on.  If I continue to tell my children this, I would be lying, therefore, I would be deliberately sinning. 

  Now, I have had the conversation on 4 different accounts now.  "Well, I know a lot of Christians out there that do Santa, and their children have turned out just fine."   And here's where I stand on this: 

  1.)  Christians "out there" do A LOT of things "Christians" aren't supposed to do.  They claim to believe in God and go to church, but the Bible tells us, they are "lukewarm and He will spew them out of his mouth". 

  2.)  God's people are to be SET APART.  We are not to do or act like the world around us.  God gave the Isralites almost two whole books in the Bible of rules that were to set them apart from the other heathen lands.  If we give into every popular thing that goes on around us, how are we any different?

  3.)  Satan is very good at using Santa, to pull people away from Christ.  We tell children there is a Santa and there is a God.  St. Nick and Jesus Christ were both historically real people, we can prove that, but Santa and God are both not visible, when children become of age that they do not believe anymore, some have questioned whether or not God is real.  (A friend of mine said he answered this to his child after they told them the truth about Christmas, by asking, how much time do I study about Santa?  How much time to do I spend with God?  If God were not real, why would I put so much effort into studying his Word?)

  Satan even uses movies and stories about Santa to make us feel guilty about not believing.  Derek loves the Polar Express (because of the train), but we have had to stop watching it so much, because it does make you feel really guilty.  It even made me feel guilty about not believing, and I knew that was Satan attacking me!!

  3.)  It comes down to being a heart issue.  God does not look at the outward appearance, the Bible tells us this again and again.  He also gave us the holy spirit to guide us.  Being still and listening is the most important.  If something does not set well with you, then God is most likely convicting you of something.  Which is what happened to us.  We just kept coming back to the same old thing and it didn't feel right.  Once we told the children, it was like a giant burden was lifted off of our shoulders and we could be normal around our kids.  Derek had been asking lots of questions relating the North Pole to heaven and if Santa delivers presents to Hannah.  And since Santa can see us when we are sleeping, does he live in heaven with God while watching us.  It was just becoming too much for us.  Especially having children in heaven that Derek was relating to.  

How did it look for us? 

  Well, I definately recommend watching the Veggie Tales St. Nick movie, for small children, if you haven't already.  Then, we did a history lesson about the real St. Nicholas.  Who by the way, is an amazing person, and definately someone small children can look up to and learn from.  Then I set the children down, for one of our serious talks.  I very gently told them the truth.  Needless to say, Derek, blew up, which I was prepared for.  After crying and being very upset for about 10 minutes that Daddy and I had lied to him, which by the way, we had promised never to do, he calmed down and was perfectly fine with the entire issue.  I explained, that we would still have Christmas, Easter, and they still could receive money for teeth. 

  And I will say, that this Christmas was by far, the best Christmas we have ever had.  To make our Christmas more about Christ this year, we told the children, they would only be receiving 3 big gifts from us, just like Jesus, and some stocking stuffers.  They did not break down and have a panic attack, their faces lit up when their 3 gifts were placed under the tree!!!  They couldn't wait to open "only" 3 gifts.  We also shared Christmas morning again, this year with my parents, who of course spoiled the children as normal.  Which was so wonderful to have them here to see the children's faces!!! 

  Giving only 3 gifts also took a lot of burden off of my shoulders too, financially and time wise.  There is so much hoopla around Christmas anymore, when in all reality, Christ came here very simply.  The sermon on Sunday touched on this.  He was born in a stable, not a castle, that he deserved.  Shepards were called to come see, not rich and famous people.  He was born to commoners, not well to do parents.  Simple is better. 

  I only wish this to be an encouragment to you, not a guilt trip.  I also dare you to research and read about all the true meanings behind Christmas.  Research St. Nick, he was an amazing Christian, research Christmas trees, stockings, and all kinds of Christmas traditions and then do what works for your family.  I pray that the main idea in your lives are Christ.  No, we do not know if Christ was actually born on December 25, but it does give us a day to set aside and remember.  Which is what He ask us to do....."Remember Me". 

Working on our Gingerbread Stables

Working on the MM's

Decorating Cookies for the Nursing Home



"Survival" with the Littles Series

There are many days I feel like the old woman who lived in a shoe......but then I found this pictures and counted my blessings!!!  :)  I'm just kidding!

However, having a blog you are able to make your life look great from the outside, when in fact some days it feels very far from wonderful.  And I spend most of my evenings pouring myself into other women's blogs just trying to glean from their wisdom of child-rearing.  When most days I feel disappointed, because alot of these women have older children to help out (not that, this is the answer to all of my problems), but I can see how older children can be such a blessing to a large family.  So I decided to do a series on living in a family with "littles"  And in this season of life, I call it "survival mode".  I currently have 3 under the age of 6 and we babysit an 8 month old (who's name is Leigha, yes it gets very confusing around here!!!) everyday during the week.  So life can get pretty crazy around here most days!  So, hopefully (if I can get it accomplished;), I'm going to share little tid-bits of what does and does not work for us on a daily basis.

This week will be a Christmas special....

Yesterday, I spent most of the day wrapping presents.  I had originally decided not to put the presents under the tree until Christmas Eve, until we had to have a big "family meeting" about behavior (another post, another day), and then decided that yes, I would put the presents out to do some behavior "training" (for the most part, we like the Pearls "To Train Up a Child").  I waited until Quiet Time to wrap all of the children's gifts.  This year, we are doing 3 presents a piece, just like baby Jesus received.  So I wrapped all 9 presents and placed them under the tree and then as the children began to stir I opened my bedroom doors and let them "help" wrap family members' presents.  Leah sat on the bed with me and handed me my needed supplies.  While Derek and Lindsay helped with giving me tape and carrying the presents to the tree.  It went much, much smoother (is that a word?) than expected!!!  And so far, no little fingers have touched or bothered the presents.  However, we have little Leigha back today, so we'll see!!!

Last night, we went to Wal-Mart as a family and spent the entire time hiding from each other buying presents for each other.  It was great!  The kids really liked sneaking around, while Mommy and Daddy was on the phone making sure we didn't run into each other.  In addition to their 3 presents they will be opening from Mommy and Daddy, they both picked out 2 presents to buy for each other (with their own allowance, after a little talking to).  We will be doing more "sneaking" today as we wrap those presents!  Daddy wrapped Mommy's presents in the garage last night, it was quite funny!

A couple of nights ago, I got the bright idea to make these wonderful Gingerbread Stables from Raising Arrows,but we are not really crafty people, so it didn't go so well.  I would upload pictures for you to see, but after spending the past 15 minutes looking for my USB cord for my camera, I guess that's not going to happen this morning!

We ended up just decorating the graham crackers like they were cookies with icing, mm's, gum drops, and candy canes.  It was something very simple for the kids to do and Ronnie and I sat at the table with them and just had a good time spending time together. 

The next day, I baked some sugar cookies and let Derek and Lindsay decorate them with the leftover icing, sprinkles, and mm's and we took a trip to the nursing home (the funeral home as Lindsay calls it) to pass out some Christmas goodies, while Daddy was in the woods hunting.  I made sure to pack the stroller, because I knew there was no way, Leah could handle holding my hand that long.  Thank goodness, I did, because she was not a happy camper for most of the trip!  It was a great trip for the older kids to get into the Christmas spirit, though!  There eyes just lit up giving out their cookies they had made.  And the elderly were wonderful and very thankful to talk and see the kids.  We will definitely be making a trip back!!!

Well here is just a few ideas of what are family has done for Christmas to teach the main idea of giving and Christ.  I will share more of what works and what does not later on when less of the "littles" are awake ;)  

Have a great day!!!
And Remember "All things are possible, through Christ, who gives you strength!!!" 
 Phillipians 4:13